I am on the bus after downing a very quick post-work cocktail. A friend calls and while I'm talking in that loud whisper that everyone knows is louder than actually talking (one drink, people. and I do apologize, fellow bus riders), this man gets on the bus near the DIA. With a large garbage bag of pop cans - wearing a piano tie and a Bill Cosby sweater (YES). This is most definitely not our first meeting - he's actually tried to chat with me twice before - usually right before I get off the bus. So, he sits in the seat across from me and yells 'HELLO MA'AM'. I'm still on the phone but the second I finish my conversation - he says hello again. The conversation goes like this:
Hello, I'm Derek. What's your name? I'm just getting off work - I have a job with DIA security. Do you have a job? Do you have a degree? Awesome. I'm at OCC working to finish my degree in communications. You know - I've seen you around Royal Oak a lot. Do you live there? I live in Troy. ALONE. Do you live alone? (mini-white-lie alert) Oh, you live with your boyfriend. So is it serious? He's a lucky guy. Is he good to you? He better be.
Best pick-up line ever, by the way: I live alone. YOU live alone. What else do you need?
<conversation shift>
My ex-girlfriend MELISSA (those trifling Melissas!) - she's constantly jerking me around. Calling me when she needs money. She has this best friend - Aaron. She says he's gay but I've seen the pictures. Pictures of them making out all over Facebook. We were together two years. TWO YEARS. She takes advantage of my kindness and generosity and I'm just getting sick of it. Last Christmas, she actually asked me to buy Aaron's gifts. As I'm buying them - we were still together you see - I thought - WHY am I do this? And then this year - she showed up at my birthday party. And asked me for MONEY.
I'm just listening - this poor soul. I tell him he's better off without her - he can do better. That he deserves someone that appreciates him. This other woman (who, by the way, last week - handed out her phone number to a fellow bus rider. BUS ROMANCE EVERYWHERE) starts chiming in and saying some similar things. That he should just think it through - not to be blinded by love. He knows that Melissa and this Aaron character are actually together.
As we are all gathering our things to get off the bus - Derek says he feels better. Just needed to get that out and get some validation.
This therapy session - well worth the $2 bus fare.
